It’s Mother’s Day.
The first, of many, that I can spend enjoying my baby.
For me the day started at 5am.
This is a pretty typical feeding time for Logan though sometimes we are up earlier.
Luckily, he always and easily goes back to sleep.
Some days I feed him in the early hours and try not to fall back asleep myself because I want to make it back to my bed.
Some days I think about how quickly the time is passing.
Some days I wonder WHY we started waking up in the night again when we used to sleep through.
Some days I tell myself I can force the issue and train him to sleep through the night.
But not today…
Today I fed Logan, looked into his sleepy eyes, and thanked my Heavenly Father that I am able to experience this.
This has been the most emotional experience of my life.
This journey has brought me so much joy.
Watching a tiny version of my husband and myself learn and grow has been something indescribable.
At times I wish time would just slow down so I could enjoy the moment just a little longer.
Other times, I wish this stage could end and I could gain some energy back.
But not today…Today I enjoyed every laugh, and every cry.
Today I had no thought about the last time I slept through the night.
I had no thought that one day soon Logan won’t need me this much, though I hope he will still come to me when he does.
I enjoy the time I get to be up and feeding him, for some days that is the only moment he stays still.
I enjoy helping him to stand and take steps, for I can see the pride in his eyes in those moments.
I enjoy watching him explore food, for he seems to love food like I do.
Today I was reminded that this journey is difficult, but worth it.
The nights drag on, but time passes so quickly.
My baby needs me so much, but wants to be so independent.
Every cry hurts my heart, but makes every giggle so much sweeter.
This journey is something no one is prepared for.
This journey is every bit of scary, crazy, exhausting, lovely, rewarding, and magical.
This journey is Motherhood.
– love Tayden